Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
