it was like having sex with a tree stump
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
