Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
