What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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