i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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