So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ugly people sure do ruin things
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
