apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
