i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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