I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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