Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We're too hungover to prance.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Couch. On fire.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
