HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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