ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
