there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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