Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
