Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
