dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
