Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
