So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
