I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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