I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
