Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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