i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
