Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The air was thick with penises
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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