doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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