i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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