the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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