why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Still dying that you shit outside
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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