Your dad touched me again.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
