Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
