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Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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