then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
