id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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