She said her name was "party"
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
