Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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