Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
