CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
