id be glad to
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
