its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if only i could text you this smell
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
They have beer where we have blood.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
