Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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