Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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(214): View more from Texas

Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.

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(530): View more from California

There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(818): View more from California

Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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(309): View more from Illinois

there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s

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(443): View more from Maryland

Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Let the record show that I hate your ass.

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