He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
