turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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