You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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