i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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