Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
