We won't sleep together?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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