can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize