More tranny stories later!
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
