It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
