I bet he comes in French.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
